“Honey, do you still love me? How much do you love me? On a scale of 1 to 100? ‘ From time to time we all find it even confirmation. But sometimes lurks behind these questions is a big uncertainty. An uncertainty that may be for your relationship. Harmful
Our readers know about it talk to. “I could not do anything alone,” writes Myrthe. “My boyfriend was like a little kid after me. If I ever wanted to do without him, something with my friends than it was whimpering and whining. Finally I have put an end to. ”
Esmee confesses that she is very insecure in love. “I’m actually always afraid that he does not love me anymore. So I ask him all the time, even though I know I bored him with it. And I run for him. I try always to his liking to him, otherwise I am afraid that he takes his bags. I know he really had enough of my behavior sometimes, but I just can not do otherwise. ”
The cause of uncertainty in the love and fear of abandonment, according to psychologists often found in the past, and especially in the relationship with the parents. The uncertain partner does everything to please the other. Sometimes this results in pronounced possessive behavior. The uncertain partner gives his or her own freedoms and submit totally to the other. The other feels this stifled and curtailed in their own freedom and because it does not feel good he tries or they create more freedom for themselves which of the uncertain partner is going to wonder if he or she “does not love me anymore.” Desperate again
And the advice in these situations is worded almost always the same:
1. Talk to each other. Do you suffer from insecurity, tell your partner then. “At one time it was an untenable situation for both of us,” Anouk mails. “I was so insecure that I could not last a minute without him, but I knew that if I went through, he would it continue. I then explained to him what I felt and with his help, the better. Now When your partner is unsure, listen carefully to him and try to make his uncertainty is unfounded him clearly.
2. Are you the one who is in doubt, ask yourself ever wonder where you are actually afraid of. Why are you so scared that he runs? Is this fear real or is there something else behind it?
3. Make sure you both your own pursuits and space within your relationship. Are you uncertain partner try to leave him his freedom and create your own pursuits. Have lunch with a friend if he has a business lunch, sign up for a course or at the gym. Take things without him. “I have my old hobby, painting, picked up again. There I came by my uncertain behavior no longer stand. But he encouraged me to start painting again. And now that gives me real peace and he also finally have things to add, writes indy. The nice thing is that we now have more to tell each other. ‘
4. Work together to find a balance in your relationship to. You do that – again – by talking to each other. Accept each other’s faults and weaknesses and emphasize each other’s strengths. Work towards an intimate relationship in which you yourself together, but also in themselves, can develop.
And you? Do you suffer from insecurity or do you have an uncertain partner? What are your experiences? Is it you managed to overcome this uncertainty Mail us your comments using the box below. Please mention here the title of this article there (“Do you still love me?”)